Remus

I wake up by the light that falls on my face. I look up, and the first thing I see, is the beautiful face of my friend, Sirius Black. He looks so cute when he's asleep, and the sunlight on his face makes it even more beautiful. I feel a nice feeling inside me, something I always get when I see him. I know what it means. I'm in love with him. But I also know we can't be together, he wouldn't love me, he's straight as a line.

I get my book, and start reading. It's the new part of my favorite serie. I just opened the book, when I hear noise next to me. I look to the side, to see Sirius staring at me. As soon he noticed I look at him, he turns around. Ofcourse, who would look at my ugly face?

Sirius

I wake up by the noise the other gryffindors make. I open my eyes, and look at Remus, who's just about to open a book, but then he suddenly looks at me. I turn around, embarrassed. I hope he didn't see the blush that quickly took over my face. Damn, why am I in love with him? There's just no way we will be together. He doesn't love me.

As soon I feel the blush leaving my face, I stand up, put some comfy clothes on, and walk to the window. It's a beautiful saturday, and I don't have anything planned. I want to ask the other if they have something planned, when I notice that Remus feels bad. I realise it's the time of the month, and I walk to my bed. I sit down on my knees, and get a lot of chocolate from underneath my bed. I walk towards my poor friend, and give it to him. It's one of the few things that makes him feel better except for cuddles. But I don't trust myself to hug him, I will get a blush, and he will find out, and he won't be my friend anymore. I sigh, out of all guys, I fall in love with my friend?

Remus

 I hate this time of the month. I hate myself, I hate that I'm a monster. I hate that I can't control it. I hate that I can't be just a normal guy, without being a werewolf. All those thoughts run through my head, while I feel terrible. Suddenly my thoughts get interrupted. An arm that's holding a box full of chocolate, is right in front of me. I look at the owner of the arm, and I get a little blush when I see that it's Sirius. And as always, he knows exactly what I need.

"Thanks Siri, I really needed that." I say, after I ate some of it. "I noticed, are you feeling better?" He asks, with his beautiful voice. "Yep, I'm much better, thanks." I say, with a smile on my face. He nods, as he turns around and starts to draw.

Time skip to the evening.

While the sun hides after the horizon, me and the other Marauders sneak out and walk towards the Forbidden forest. The others get ready to change into their animal forms, as the sun is gone. I start screaming as soon my body begins to transform. It hurts so bad, and I wish I could die, it's terrible, and because I don't wanna hurt my friends in the process, I walk further into the woods. Normally they would come after me around midnight, because I'm ready for them, and the most pain is gone.

Sirius

I see how Remus walks into the forest, and I hear him scream. I'm getting ready to transform, when I suddenly get a weird feeling, and I run after him. The others try to stop me, but as a black dog, I'm faster. While I get closer to Remus, the screaming gets worse. It hurts to hear him like that. Suddenly I see him. I run towards him, and I see how he tries to hurt himself. I lay my hand on his arm, and the werewolf turns around. At that moment, I see all the scars on his whole body. But I also see blood, he hurted himself. Suddenly I realise I'm as human next to him, and I remember he will attack me. I quickly hold my arms for my face.

I wait for the attack... That never comes. I open my eyes a bit, and I see him staring at me. He looks like he remembers me. I move slowly and lay a hand on his shoulder. Then I see his wounds. I rip my shirt appart, and start to bind it around his wounds. He's still not attacking me. 

We spend the night in the forest, just sitting there, looking at the stars. I think I've fallen asleep at a moment, because I wake up in the dorm. 

                                                                 ~~~~~~A week later~~~~~~

Remus

I tried avoiding Sirius since I'm allowed to get out bed. It was sooner than normal, thanks to Sirius. I don't wanna face him, he saw how hurt I was, and he probably thinks I'm a terrible monster now.

I walk through the hall, towards the dorm.

I walk into the dorm, when suddenly the door falls in lock. I quickly turn around and try to open it. I hear laughing from the other side of the door. I recognize the voice of James, and also Peter. I turn mad around, when I see Sirius. Damn it, I'm locked in with him. I'm locked in with someone that thinks I'm a monster.

Sirius

Remus keeps avoiding me. I don't know why, but I hate it. He looks so sad, I wanna help him, but he doesn't allow me. I don't know what to do, so I talk with James.

"Prongs? Can I ask you something?"

"What is it Padfoot?"

"Do you know why Moony keeps avoiding me?"

"Nope, he doesn't talk to any of us, although he let us be around him."

"Okay, thanks I guess..."

"I can help you if you want?"

And now I'm standing in the dorm, locked in, together with Remus. He looks pale, and he still tries to stay away from me. I see his beautiful hair above the edge of his bed. But then I notice he's crying, his shoulders are shaking.

I quietly walk around his bed. He notice me as I sit down, and looks at me with a shocked face.

Remus

Damn it! How stupid are you Remus? You're locked in with Sirius now! 

I cry while I try to stay away from him. I'm scared of him, scared that he will hurt me with his words.

Suddenly I notice that he sits down next to me. I panic as I look at him with a shocked and worried face. I'm sitting, so I can't run away. I close my eyes, ready for his painful words.

...

I feel how he lays his arm around my shoulders. His other hand runs through my hair. It has a calming effect on me, and I slowly open my eyes. I see Sirius, with his eyes closed. He looks so calm. Then he opens his eyes and says soft: "Are you okay Moony? I'm worried about you. You keep avoiding me since your transformation. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong!" say I quick "I'm just scared..."

"Scared? Are you afraid of me? If that's the case, I'll leave you alone, I don't wanna do anything wrong."

"No! I'm just scared that you'll think I-...."

"Scared of that I think what?"

"It's nothing, forget it." I look away. Stupid, why did you say that??? What if he finds out you're in love with him? He won't love you!

"So- I'm not the reason you're scared?"

"No, you aren't, I'm afraid that you'll say something hurtful."

"I would never Moony, I can't. I-" He takes a breath, "I like you Moony, not as a friend, but more." He looks away.

"Wha-? Why are you lying? Who would love a monster like me?" I sigh "I almost thought you felt the same..." I whisper.

"You know I'm sitting right next to you, so whispering won't work right? And I would love a monster like you." He says.

I don't wanna look at him, scared that this is a dream, or that he is lying. Suddenly I feel a hand under my chin that turns my head towards Sirius, and he looks at me. I drown in his perfect eyes. Then suddenly, he bows his head towards mine, and he kisses me. Sirius Orion Black was kissing me.

He gently breaks the kiss, and looks at me. "Do you believe me now?"

I can't say anything, but I smile and jump towards him to hug him. We fall on the ground.

"So... We're together now?" He asks smiling. I nod.

A boy, named after the stars, and his boyfriend, who's a werewolf, lay together in a field, looking at the stars.

Ik heb geen idee of dit te lang is, maar dit is alles tot nu toe, van de afgelopen 2 dagen.

Liefs,

Hoi @Natureflower ,

Mijn Engels is echt te slecht, ik kan je verhaal niet echt volgen. Sorry , ik hoop dat iemand anders je feedback kan geven.

Hey @Natureflower,

Leuk dat je bezig bent met schrijven, helaas is mijn Engels niet zo goed en kan ik het niet echt begrijpen, maar ga zo door!

Groetjes, Monkeyboy08

Ja, ik heb het op een site gezet, maar ik had het al in het topic gezet maar het is al verwijderd. Ik maak een bundel "Wolfstar fanfiction” hij staat op lopend, want ik wil nog wel meer schrijven, maar ik twijfel of ik doorga met deze reeks, of meerdere korte stukjes zoals dit maak

De titel is "Who would love a monster like me?” Ik kan niet echt iets anders verzinnen.

Voor de kt: Ik was mijn vraag vergeten: Iemand nog tips/ideeën voor tijdens het schrijven. Ik heb vaak dat ik ideeën heb, maar zodra ik begin te schrijven, dan krijg ik het niet onder woorden (@OnlyMe jij hebt ervaring, niet om je te pushen, maar ik zou het fijn vinden;)

Liefs,

Heyy @Natureflower !

Ik voel me helemaal niet onderdrukt, integendeel ik heb nu toch even niks te doen. Ik denk dat het een prachtig verhaal is! Ik zie wel dat de laatste POV van Remus niet vet gedrukt en onderstreept is, miss kan je dat nog verbeteren?

Het is heel goed te lezen en ik vind het heel knap van je dat je dit zo geschreven hebt! Ik heb misschien wel nog een tip, misschien zou je het soms wat meer uit schrijven, zoals: I have known Sirius for so long, he is my best friend ever, but still… I love him. I am so scared, so afraid, every time I look at him it feels like the world around us dissapears, every time over and over again it’s an shock, I would never want to break the connection that we have…

ook zou je misschien meer emoties er in kunnen verwerken. Dat bv Remus wel heel boos wordt op Sirius omdat hij zijn leven heeft geriskeerd door niet te veranderen in Padfoot. Of je kan Sirius een grapje laten maken, of flirterig over laten komen, dat maakt het iets spannender en leuker om te lezen omdat er dan een stuk meer gebeurt en dan raakt de lezer nieuwsgieriger naar hoe het af loopt, dan MOET hij/zij het wel uitlezen.

Verder over het schrijven zelf, ik snap je helemaal als je iets niet onder woorden krijgt, of het even niet meer weet kan je altijd een pauze nemen. Ook is mijn tip om als je bepaalde woorden even niet weet het gwn te vragen, of te vertalen online, daarmee leer je ook steeds beter Engels en wel op een positieve manier. Voel geen druk en je kan altijd om hulp vragen. Ik zelf heb soms ook wel van die blokkades dat ik echt niet meer weet wat ik met een boek aan moet, maar dat is niet erg, ik stop gewoon 1 week of langer totdat ik wel weer zin heb om er verder aan te schrijven. En volgers, schrijvers op die websites zijn allemaal echt super behulpzaam en aardig, sommige homophobisch, maar reken maar reken maar dat die hard worden aangepakt. En wij zijn hier op het forum ook altijd, en ik blijf mijn verhalen ook herlezen om al mijn spellingsfouten eruit te krijgen, of ik zet het bij mijn verhaal:

Please tell me when I made any mistakes, English is not the language I speak from origin.

Het helpt en vergeet niet de grap: ‘Are you serious?’  ‘I am ALWAYS Sirius, especially for you Moony.’  Elke keer opnieuw ga ik helemaal stuk.

Dat waren mijn tips, ik hoop dat je er wat aan hebt!

De titel is prachtig trouwens! misschien kan je er wel nog in haakjes achter zetten WOLFSTAR zodat het duidelijker is dat het een ship is en welke. dus dan zou het zo worden:

Who would love a monster like me? [WOLFSTAR FANFIC]

Dan is het in elk geval heel duidelijk. dat waren mijn tips echt.

-OnlyMe

@Natureflower Hoe bedoel je totaal Wolfstar fanfiction genoemd? Wat is dan nu de titel precies? Graag gedaan! Op nog 1  vraag had ik nog geen antwoord gegeven of het verhaal te lang was of niet, en daarop zeg ik: “Hoe langer hoe beter.”

-OnlyMe