Warning, this is probally gonna be long and in English, so yeah, you got that :))

I'm a teenage trans boy from the Netherlands and for how long I can remember I've heard voices in my head, like seperate parts of me talking to me and communicating with me.

But, I never gave it much thought, because it was normal. I'd always think "everybody hears voices in their heads, that's completely normal!" Maybe strange for someone with no expiriences like this, but I genuinly thought it was! 

Until I met a system online with OSDD (other specified dissosiative disorder) they vented and talked about it, and I recognized this behaviour and situation for myself.

So one night, something snapped, "are the voices and memory gaps not normal? Do I have this same thing as them?" And for the first time I tried to seperate myself from these voices, get a clear picture, and communicate with them. First I thought they were just voices (for some stupid reason) and I tried to name them? Even though they already had names.. still feel like an idiot for that. 

Sometimes certain alters dissapear and someone new comes to take their place. I've lived with strong amnesia for how long I could remember, memory gaps, dissociating etc.

Usually I stay consious when these parts take over (for as far as I know) like, I lose alot of time but I can sorta remember the facts.

Sometimes I find it okay to let them take over, because we have different hobbies and interests, I want them to do things they enjoy to do to. Often when someone else "takes front" it feels like Im just a spectator, like a voice in my own head. I enjoy spending time with them sometimes, but we argue alot too.

Lately I've been getting alot of fragmented pieces of memory back from what made us this way, of what happened to us. Im not going into detail cause it usually makes us shake for some reason and I should be sleeping. I dont feel emotional connection to the memories and a large part of them are in third person. 

Some alters are really active, as in they take front alot, I will not be sharing the name we go by in real life (our shared name we collectivsly go by) But this was Written by Nicky (no this is not my legal name and nobody outside the system knows this is my name)

Anyway, does anybody have an idea of how I/we could break this to my/our mom? Or reach out to a trauma informed therapist whitout our moms knowledge? Thank you for reading -sincerely me! :] (yes thats an Dear Evan Hansen referenceee, 😜)